Posted by: Genny Colby | September 20, 2012

The Second Time Around

Having baby number #2, we thought we had it all down. Been there, done that, we had this whole “new baby” thing covered.  Well, of course, the little dragon is his own person and while we had the basics down (diapers, clothing, etc), there was still a lot to learn.  But we did have the experience from baby #1, so we were not starting from scratch. Being a parent is being on a constant learning adventure.  Each day brings new situations, new questions, and new experiences.  It is one of the most amazing adventures out there, don’t get me wrong, but it not always the smoothest.

I already knew that what ever plans I had about how things would go, what kind of parent I would be kind of go out the window.  I need to parent my child the way they need, not the way I “want” to.  Yes, we have a basic framework of what we believe, how we would hope to respond/react, but really, we have to look at each of our kiddos individually and respond to their needs as such.  What worked with #1 is not always going to work with #2.

So, what have I learned 3 months into the second kiddo?
-It is okay for babies to cry.  You don’t have to swoop in during those first 30 seconds, especially if you are busy braiding little girls hair, or cutting up chicken, or even just trying to pee.  He won’t be scared for life just because it took me a minute or two to come comfort him.

-Take the time to snuggle when ever you can…but know that you won’t get as much as with #1, since #1 is still young and needs time and attention.

-#2 is going to learn to be much more flexible…as he is often along for the ride with his big sister!  We can’t stop everything we were doing before he arrived, so finding a balance it important.

-Baby wearing…BEST THING EVER!  I can have my hands free to help big sister, he is all close and snuggling (which we both like) and he is much more likely to nap better than in his car seat while we are out and about.  And big sister does not have to miss out on all her favorite activities and can still have mom’s attention.

-Bringing the little man into our bed in the early morning is not going to ruin his ability to sleep in his own bed.  It just means that we get that little extra one on one snuggle time, which is harder to get this time around.

-It is okay to do things for myself.  Like working out, or reading a book.  In fact I HAVE to make sure I take time for me.

-Make time for us a couple.  Even for something as simple as playing a game or watching a movie.

-The house is not going to look as awesome as it did before baby #2.  It is okay, try not worry about all those little things.  As long as the kitchen is clean, the bathrooms are clean and everyone has clean laundry (even if it is still sitting in the basket), life is good.

-Let daddy help!  Tell him what I need done and then let him do it.  And let it be okay if he does things differently.

-Leave the kiddos with daddy, even if is only for a trip to Target or the grocery store. I don’t HAVE to be attached so completely to either kiddo.  He is the parent too, I have to trust him and let him be the parent (I think this comes from being a SAHM, where I spend just about every waking moment with the kiddos…get used to how we do things, having them there, etc)

-Enjoy every moment I can with both of  my kiddos, because the time really does go by so fast.  Especially for baby #2.

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