Posted by: Genny Colby | October 3, 2012

Some days are like that…

As I was cooking dinner last night with one 3-year-old who REALLY wanted to help and one 3 month old who wanted to be doing ANYTHING but sitting in his chair while mommy cooked (and thus screaming at the top of his lungs, complete with tears), I realized I really do have a pretty good life.

How did I come to this realization in the middle of the chaos?  Well, generally, the hubby is home during this cooking time to help with one of the kiddos.  But really it got me thinking…

I am a stay at home mom.  My husband is the sole bread-winner for the family.   We are fortunate that his salary is enough to allow me to stay home with our kids and still allows us to have the kind of life we want.  We both agreed that a stay at home parent was the way we wanted to go when we had kids.

He is incredibly supportive of me staying home. I never hear about how it is “his” money, or that I should think about getting a job, or when the kids go to school I should plan to get a job.  In fact, he has been a BIG supporter of the idea of homeschooling our kiddos, even though that means a longer time of us being a one income household   He never gives me grief about spending money on the kids, on the house, on activities, or even myself.  He also wants to be involved in the homeschooling, as much as possible.

I have never heard “If only you were working…” or “when you go back to work…”  In fact, if I even mention the idea of getting a part-time job now or when the kids are in school, he asks me why.  Our budget is fine, as long as we keep our spending in line. If I really wanted to get out of the house that would be one thing, but I have those chances with friends and our mom’s group.   He has expressed that he would really prefer I not get a job, allowing us more time to just be a family.

He is a hands on dad…even after a full day of work he comes home and is ready to be dad.  He doesn’t just sit down and relax after his long day…at least not until both kids are down for the night.  Then we sit down and relax together.

He has repeatedly reminded me that my job is to provide care and experiences for our kids.  Anything else I can get done (laundry, cleaning, making dinner, etc) is great but if things don’t get done, that is okay too.  If I don’t feel like making dinner, or just can’t get it done because of the demands of our kiddos…he is fine picking something up on his way home or going out for dinner.

For some reason I find myself “justifying” how we spent the day.  Which I have been told kind of pisses him off…I don’t need to justify what we do all day.  If we just sat around and played Candyland or read books, that would be just fine by him. As long as the kids are growing, happy, engaged, and learning, then all is good.  We may have a different discussion if every day for a week I sat the kids down in front of the TV so I could roam around Pintrest…but since I am even more of stickler on TV time than he is…I doubt that is a conversation we will ever have to have in our house!

So maybe he doesn’t always see the clean dishes that need to get put away.  Or the laundry that needs to be done.  Or the bathroom that needs to be cleaned.  But he sees our kids and me.  That is his priority.  He does not see me as the person responsible for everything around the house.  That said, I do take it upon  myself to do more of the household stuff (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc) partly because yes I am home, I can (usually) get it done, giving us more time for family activities in the evening/weekends.  But also because I have some obsessive/compulsive issues, combined with some control issues!  (Hey, I can admit my faults, I know my issues…)

So…while there are days I feel like I am being pulled in a million different direction and that we have accomplished NOTHING…I firstly know that this is not true, but even if it were, I know that I have the support of my hubby.  And if it is a really bad day…he will either bring me a drink, or ice cream…or both! Now if we could only get some Spotted Cow out here…

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