Posted by: Genny Colby | April 4, 2013

Mommy Wars…

Besides being the best job I have ever had, being a parent is the hardest job I have ever done!  You are responsible for a real human being!  Her wants, desires, wishes, dreams, needs, bad moods, questions, fears…all of it are yours to help mold, shape, overcome, achieve.  It is an amazing job, but also daunting.  There are days you wonder if you are really up for the task, or you question what in the world you got yourself into with this whole “let’s have a kid (or two)” idea.  You give up sleep, relaxing weekends watching movies, reading books, working in the yard for 8 hours.  Now your schedule is dictated by one or more little people.  And it is awesome!  Most of the time.

We all know how hard it is, we all know that sacrifices that must be made, and we willingly make them.  No matter what it looks like on the outside, we all have our struggles.  We all have good days and bad days.  We all wonder if we are making the right choices for our kids.  So it amazes me how judgmental other parents can be.  It is like some parents are trying to one up the others, or that by putting down someone else, we can justify/rationalize our choices.

It does not matter what the situation…there are always two or more sides to every situation.  There is always that one parent that has a comment.  “Oh, you bottle feed?” “Oh, you don’t bottle feed at all?”  “Oh, you only nursed for 6 months?” “You are STILL nursing?”  “You give your child french fries?” “You don’t allow you child to eat french fries?” Honestly, it does not matter what the subject.  This is why I refuse to go on any of the mommy messages boards.  It seems that there is always a handful of people who will argue about any topic, put down any parent who does something different, or feels the need to lecture you on why the choice you made is going to kill your child, make them obese, or cause them to grow up to be complete psychopaths.  Do any of us really need that?  Shouldn’t we try to do our best to support one another?  Help each other make the best choices we can?  How easy is it to judge someone else when you have no idea what their lives really are like, what other factors played into the decision.

It seems that everyone feels the right to not tell you what worked from them, or what they have read/learned in their own journey, but instead often feel the need to lecture or be judge and jury on your parenting style.  But each family, each parent, each child is unique.  The choices that are made are not made in isolation.  Instead of arguing and/or putting each other down, would it not be better for us to work together to support one another?

Let’s be honest…none of us really know what we are doing.  We are making this all up as we go along.  Each day brings new opportunities, new experiences, new challenges, and new chances to mess our kids up.  And if we are really honest with one ourselves, we all will in some way or another mess our kids up.  It is what growing up is all about… surviving your parents, right?

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