Posted by: Genny Colby | September 26, 2013

Birthday Party Madness…

We have 2 1/2 months until Monkey turns 5…and just over 1 month until her birthday party.  But seriously, you would think it was next week with all she talks about it.  Well, mostly she talks about who she wants to invite.  “Mommy, are they are on my birthday party list?”  Seriously, this “list” could be 40 names long as it includes those friends she has had for years and who are automatically on “the list”, those she has more recently met, and those she just randomly meets the park.  Little does she know…I control the list!   But its her birthday, her party, and she is going to be 5, so she does have a lot of say in who is on the list.

And because she has a December birthday, and because life is so super crazy at that time of year, we often have a “destination” birthday…not at the house.  These places do limit the number of guests, based on your package.  But now that she has a greater say in the content of the guest list, I am left with the question…what about the siblings of those on the guest list?  At what point is it okay to just invite one child, not the whole family?  Even when the kids do all somewhat play together when we meet at the park, or for lunch, or even when we invite one friend over to play?  Since we are all pretty much stay at home parents, we are pretty much a packaged deal during the week.    How does this work now that she is older and can really articulate who her friends are, who she wants to help her celebrate?  And we have to stick to max limit on guests?

I don’t think this was an issue when I was a kid. I don’t really remember my sister coming to birthday parties with me.  Though we had more friends in the neighborhood and it wasn’t until we started school that we had friends outside a 3 block radius!   But it is different now, especially since so many of her friends are based on my friendships.  Though to be fair, I developed friendships as she made friends, and she made friends as I did too.  And if one or the other was not a good fit, well we could still make it work so it’s not like her friendships are totally dependent on mine.

(Poor Dragon, right now he is just along for the ride…I should look at spending more time with moms of little boys too..but that’s a thought for a different day)

Back to the question at hand…when is it okay to not include siblings in birthday party invites?  And is it weird?  And should I feel bad about it because I see all the kids as one big group of friends, yet Monkey sees her friends first and that is who she wants on her list?

If we make it to her party with mommy having any sanity left…well I think that will just be the best accomplishment yet! Did I mention how much I love birthdays and celebrating my family on their special days?   Yeah, I can’t wait for the days of slumber parties with 3 friends when all I need to do is order pizza, have movies available and maybe some chocolate!  (as I write this she informs me she wants a rainbow cake with rainbow frosting for her birthday now too)





  1. Just read a book about the sibling at b-day parties issue today. It’s called The Red Lollipop. 🙂

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